Today’s Topic Is About Resilience
Every now and then, people suffer. There are already tons of theories and therapies to help cure people out of the aftermath of those sufferings. But those guidelines are truly hard to follow strictly even for those experts. So in most cases, we’ll find people use negative and short-period methods to get rid of sorrows, such as drowning in alcohol. Compared to pretending nothing has happened, a better way is to live forward with sorrows, which can be eased in some helpful ways.
From now on, you don’t need to get stuck with complicated theories or some even worse outcomes warned to you by experts if you don’t follow their instructions. Just three key ways can help you get back to the driver’s seat and roll back onto your life.
First, it is essential to admit those bad things’ happening. Actually unfortunate falls to everyone, and it’s true that the degree of unfortunes differs on different people. But admitting your miserable experience is still helpful in avoiding endless groaning about your sorrow and avoiding repeatedly asking why it falls on you rather than someone else. Admitting is the first step to living together with sorrow.
The second is to control your instinct. People are inclined to focus on bad results rather than happy results. This helps our ancestors to be cautious about dangers and successfully avoid them. But today most bad results are not critical to our survival, so it’s time to control such instincts, attention and energy spent on them. And there’s a good way to divert your attention to other things–think of three happy things each day. Sticking onto this habit can really make people grateful and positive towards life.
The last method is to check whether each thing you are about to do is useful. Whether meeting the criminals is useful; whether drinking one more bottle of wine is helpful; whether staying up late all night is helpful. Checking whether your behavior is useful and justified can bring about great influence to all the corners of your life. Just like one of my teachers said before, what limits the speed of cars is not the functioning of engines but the performance of brakes. Thinking about the aim of each behavior and whether the behavior can really lead you to that aim can serve as brakes to avoid taking actions immediately and recklessly.This method is helpful not just in dealing with recovery of sorrows and unfortunates, but also in everyday decisions and actions you are going to make. If I had learned about it before, I wouldn’t do something meaningless, like staying up late playing games, just to drain off my bad emotions. Actually such behaviors cannot ease my negativities and there are obviously better alternatives.
Just 3 methods can lead to a whole different life. This can be applied to every emotional fluctuation brought by some unanticipated reasons. Admittedly it is hard to follow them strictly every day, but even if you can think of them sometimes, they still help a lot.
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